Menopause

A Sacred, Holy initiation

I'm proposing we choose another name for this metamorphosis into our crone/elder years. A word that reflects the fluid nature of crossing this threshold and all that comes with it. And one that doesn't carry the pre-determined narratives from the 1800's. The word Menopause has no feminine context, and only describes, like Menstruation, a measure of time - in this case, a pause.

But we don't pause.

Meaning and Origin

Menopause is a term that medically refers to the permanent cessation of menstruation and fertility in women. This word was first coined by the French physician Charles - Pierre Meigs in 1852 and it was derived from the Greek words 'men' (month) and 'pausis' (cessation or pause). It was in the 19th century when the concept of menopause as a distinct biological event was first understood. And this has me wondering, was there a time when the end of a woman's cycle wasn't considered something to dread? Where it was just accepted and honoured as part the cycles in a woman's life and not a thing we have to endure?

The Crone phase (wisdom, maturity, transformation) indicating the conclusion of our Mother phase (fertility, childbirth, child-raising) is the final face of our bodies Holy Trinity. Where all the pieces fit together and align for this last stage of our life.

Menopause is normal and natural. An internal re-wiring that occurs as we shift out of our child-raising years, evolving over time into Oracles. A rite of passage that heralds new beginnings and embodiment of what we have learned over the years.

It's where we land with our medicine to share.

The foundations of current research into menopause stem from the 1800's when men were deciding and labeling what is and isn't normal for a woman. And it is from that place that women have experienced over 200 years of being slowly and subtly conditioned to believe that our bodies are broken and in need of fixing from the medical and pharmaceutical industry. This has meant that a lot of women lost that deep connection to their body, turning instead to doctors and asking them to explain what it is that their body is trying to tell them. Only thing is, their is a language barrier. Men can't possibly tell us anything that we don't already know in our bones.

When the medical interest in menopause grew in the mid 19th century, menopause was initially seen as a sign of decay, as described by male doctors at the time. By the 1930's it was characterised as ovarian deficiency disease - as if it was something women caught. And with medical science advancing, the endocrine system functions were discovered and ovarian hormones isolated, giving doctors a more scientific perspective on menopause. Gradually came the belief that hormone treatments could restore a women's femininity that she supposedly lost with menopause.

The rise of 'peri-menopause'

Does attaching the label peri-menopause, describing the myriad of symptoms that 'may' occur (common but not normal) to a natural process, serve to support and benefit women, or just the people who stand to gain financially? How does it help women to tell them that from the age of about 35, their body will start to deteriorate?

Personally I think it short-circuits our intuition and awareness, our instinctive ancestral bone deep knowledge.

So this label has me asking:

Is it peri-menopause or an invitation to step into and receive the mysteries of our womb?

Is it peri-menopause or the result of women not paying attention to the subtleties and nuances of what was needed for 'their body' in order to thrive through this stage?

Is it peri-menopause or our body letting us know where we have been led astray, and asking us to 'pause', to go within, to make space for renewal and to re-imaging ourselves as the well ancestors of the future.

This sounds harsh, I know, and I am in no way down playing women's experiences. They are valid and relevant to the story. I'm trying to stay curious about the conversation and wow - its all very repetitive, even in the 'wellness' industry. I'm stunned by the women calling an ending to our fertile phase as 'ovarian failure'. No wonder women struggle.

And I have a lot of why's.

Why is this time so difficult for women if it is a natural stage of our life cycle? If estrogen naturally declines throughout this shift, why are we encouraged to increase it again synthetically?

If progesterone is involved in many more physiological processes than estrogen in a woman's body, why is the focus not there too?

Why are men part of the conversation?

Why do we pathologize and medicalise this transformational time?

Why do women in western cultures seem to have more debilitating symptoms?

So many questions.

Ovarian disease/deficiency is still a term that many women still use today when describing themselves, or others experiencing this change. Including the women who have placed themselves in a role offering support to other women who are stepping through this transformational portal. I think this speaks volumes as to how the narrative is continued.

Words matter. The language surrounding menopause is enough to terrify a young woman and unfortunately, through their own medicated, unsupported experiences, many older women perpetuate this conversation of fear and dread. This in turn cements the pre-determined 'truths' and expectations of what will occur, creating the cycle where women jump on the conveyor belt to the doctors office in order to 'resolve' the process, to 'fix it' rather than embrace it for what it is - our season of wisdom.

Fast forward to today and recent research indicates the possibility of delaying menopause through implanting a woman's own previously preserved ovarian tissue.

How incredibly horrifying and sad. As if our bodies core functions, our rhythmic cycles, can be dissected into manageable chunks and placed on a schedule outside of and out of alignment with our innate nature.

Feminine Forever, a book written by Dr Robert Wilson in 1966, presented menopause as a debilitating disease, framing it as an illness in need of a cure. Discussions around menopause at that time were less sympathetic and women were being described as dull and unattractive during this transition. This wasn't so long ago and the conversations still seem relatively the same, just with more flowery language.

The medicalisation of women in menopause, and now peri-menopause, follows on from the pathologizing and medicalisation of fertility, pregnancy, birth and motherhood in what seems to be an endless attempt to disconnect women from their bodies, from their natural states of being. It sets the scene for dis-embodiment through every season of a woman's life.

When I say medicalisation of motherhood, I'm referring to non-medical necessary caesareans promoted as a suitable option, the current trend of promoting formula over breastmilk and sleep-training on schedule as best for baby.

Now I know women have the right to choose, but when the overarching conversations of todays society regarding birthing and mothering is delegating natural, evolutionary ways of labouring through this unique miraculous experience to the back-burner in favour of convenience and lifestyle, I have to wonder, is this a big contributor as to how women experience and cope with this final stage in their lives.

If women have avoided, for the most part, the initiation of motherhood, and all that it encompasses, then it stands to reason that they may be unprepared for this last step. This in turn could manifest as a hard, unbearable process as their body never received the intuitive resources and learned capacity to hold and sustain themselves during this shift.

Because you can schedule a birth to fit a personally chosen set of parameters, you can outsource parenting from the get to, but there is no work around for the initiation of menopause.

Is it society at large - held up by the medical and pharmaceutical industries, alongside government initiatives framing the conversations - responsible for how well women transition through menopause? Was it's men's obsession to understand women in order to be able to control/dominate them that has given rise to the whole 'peri-menopause' trend that only seeks to find a cure for what is a normal part of the magic of a woman's body?

Like with the pre-christian ceremonies and rites - that were facilitated by women - where men removed the mystery and presented people with what they believed as true, have these industries, that are very much dominated by men, also snuffed out what is sacred and venerable, and forced the process into a rigid, linear, easy to manage box to suit a narrative?

How non western countries approach menopause

A 2005 study in Novia Scotia with Mi'kmaq women found that while participants had limited knowledge of menopause from a scientific perspective, they understood the holistic changes associated with it. For these women, menopause was linked to evolving relationships and acceptance of aging. Women in many other indigenous groups often view the end of childbearing as a positive transition and their beliefs significantly shape their experiences.

In Japan, menopause is called 'Konenki', a word that translates to renewal years, years of transition, time of purpose and growth or energy season and the changes are embraced as part of their bodies rhythm.

It seems that in countries where aging is celebrated and looked forward to as something beneficial, the symptoms experienced are far less severe or don't occur at all. It makes you wonder who benefits from women being depleted and debilitated at this stage of their lives.

Maybe we need to re-write the Medicine Story of menopause to one that comes from a woman's remembrance - using a different word.

Menopause is a time of ebbs and flows, much like our menstrual cycle. Sometimes a releasing of what we no longer need to carry forward - fertility, birthing, child raising and expanding our energy outwards. And sometimes an encircling and pulling in of what is necessary to support us on this path. Our thoughts, our ideas, our discernment of our bodies environment, a need to withdraw, a gathering back of that expended energy to within to enable us to cross this threshold with grace and ease.

In essence, we birth ourselves through to this Crone phase.

Some words I have come across so far are:

Konenki

Flowering

Roseling/Rosation

Efflorescence - a time to bloom (my personal favourite)

I actually created a delicious botanical body oil named Efflorescence in honour of my mother and all mothers, and our mother-lines.

If you have any words you like to use, I'd love to know!

Hon